And so it begins!

I've started this blog in defense I suppose. My soon to be ex-wife started a blog of her own, doing her best to mimic the film "Julie & Julia". Like so many of her fantasy's she has chosen to pull from someone else's ideas or successes. She has decided to focus this opportunity and her attention on bashing me and making a fool of herself. When she first started it I requested that she leave me out of it. That obviously didn't occur. How she represents herself and shows her lack of character is of no concern of mine. But when she started to tell only a portion of the story, our story, I felt the need to some how respond.

It is my hope that this blog not follow in her footsteps but to go beyond and show everyone that something good can come from something bad. And it has.

In the seventh year of our marriage I had an affair. Yes, I'll admit it. It was wrong, hurtful and put a very large strain on our marriage. Something that for 14 years she never failed to toss in my face. Maybe she had the right, maybe she didn't. That's not the debate. At this moment the rest of the story is. What she failed to tell in her blog is that she had an affair in the seventh year as well. It was with a local police officer in the city where we lived. She also had another one with a man at Goodwill when she was working there. And finally she had one with three, count them three men she graduated with in the 22nd year of our marriage. During the 14 years since my affair I opted to take the high road and didn't toss those mistakes in her face. Basically because it's my thought that it is best to try to be positive and not look back at all the mistakes we've made. Unfortunately now I've been pushed into a different basket. I've always been told that I'm a Pollyanna and look to a brighter side, even though all this I'll continue to try.

I should also end this first blog by saying that "yes" I'm gay. Yes I'm living in New York with a man, D, and yes I'm happy. Yes I'm sorry that it has hurt her. Also, yes I should have told her before we were married. Yes I should have had the forethought before we started having our four children, who are now adults. But, like every man, or most, I wanted to have a life, a normal life. You know, the one with the picket fence, the wife, the four kids and the dog running around. And we did, for a while, until our lives became, I don't know, out of control and a mass of continual hurt for each other. So it was my thought that it would be best to stop the hurt and try to find some sanity as well as happiness for the rest of my life. For that decision I've been lucky enough to experience the typical or the character that crazy people think is necessary. It's unfortunately that when two people, no matter how old, no matter how long they've been married, that they can't find some sort of decorum. Well, I'm taking the first step and saying enough.

I also would like to share or suggest that this blog stay calm, respectful and honest. I have no intention in bad mouthing anyone but I will make sure that the truth is being told. So let us all look here to learn, experience and help each other find the joy in change and the wonder in happiness.