Seriously?
There seems to be some miss understandings. And trust me I’m not surprised. It seems to be the norm or standard to misinterpret or twist and turn a positive into a negative.
My first blog said –
“I should also end this first blog by saying that "yes" I'm gay. Yes I'm living in New York with a man, D, and yes I'm happy. Yes I'm sorry that it has hurt her. Also, yes I should have told her before we were married. Yes I should have had the forethought before we started having our four children, who are now adults. But, like every man, or most, I wanted to have a life, a normal life. You know, the one with the picket fence, the wife, the four kids and the dog running around. And we did, for a while, until our lives became, I don't know, out of control and a mass of continual hurt for each other. So it was my thought that it would be best to stop the hurt and try to find some sanity as well as happiness for the rest of my life. For that decision I've been lucky enough to experience the typical or the character that crazy people think is necessary. It's unfortunately that when two people, no matter how old, no matter how long they've been married, that they can't find some sort of decorum. Well, I'm taking the first step and saying enough.”
No where in that statement did I say that having my children was a mistake or that I’m sorry that they were born. HOW – I ask you is it possible to even come up with such an idea. Did I not say that I wanted that life – I wanted a wife and children? What I did say was that I should of had the forethought before I started. Which means, if it really is necessary to spell out, that I didn’t intend to hurt anyone – that I love them all – that I’m not sorry that they were born and I don’t feel that they are mistakes.
Again – this all seems so silly, foolish and even very childish. For the most part I think that this is just a way for her to drive an even bigger wedge between me and my children. MY HOPE is that they realize that I’m not a bad guy, that I love them all and STILL want to have them as part of my life. That I'm not pushing them away and want nothing more then for us all to get along.
(Shaking my head back and forth) I’m just amazed that this is still going on at all. This, my friends is the reason why people are afraid to get divorced or to come out. Look at what you have to deal with, what you have to put up with. The decent, the name calling, the misrepresentation, the idea that some person has to get back at the other and do their best to destroy them as best they can.
Never – not once – have I ever asked my children to make a choice to decide which parent they want to be faithful to. THIS, (our divorce) in actuality is none of their business. It’s between their mother and me. All they have to do is love us both as we love them. That's it - is simple, clear and possible. That’s all I want and all I’m asking.
All this mess doesn’t give great hope for it ever to get better between the two of us. But I have smart kids. I have caring kids. Sooner or later – my kids will become wise and realize I love them.
My first blog said –
“I should also end this first blog by saying that "yes" I'm gay. Yes I'm living in New York with a man, D, and yes I'm happy. Yes I'm sorry that it has hurt her. Also, yes I should have told her before we were married. Yes I should have had the forethought before we started having our four children, who are now adults. But, like every man, or most, I wanted to have a life, a normal life. You know, the one with the picket fence, the wife, the four kids and the dog running around. And we did, for a while, until our lives became, I don't know, out of control and a mass of continual hurt for each other. So it was my thought that it would be best to stop the hurt and try to find some sanity as well as happiness for the rest of my life. For that decision I've been lucky enough to experience the typical or the character that crazy people think is necessary. It's unfortunately that when two people, no matter how old, no matter how long they've been married, that they can't find some sort of decorum. Well, I'm taking the first step and saying enough.”
No where in that statement did I say that having my children was a mistake or that I’m sorry that they were born. HOW – I ask you is it possible to even come up with such an idea. Did I not say that I wanted that life – I wanted a wife and children? What I did say was that I should of had the forethought before I started. Which means, if it really is necessary to spell out, that I didn’t intend to hurt anyone – that I love them all – that I’m not sorry that they were born and I don’t feel that they are mistakes.
Again – this all seems so silly, foolish and even very childish. For the most part I think that this is just a way for her to drive an even bigger wedge between me and my children. MY HOPE is that they realize that I’m not a bad guy, that I love them all and STILL want to have them as part of my life. That I'm not pushing them away and want nothing more then for us all to get along.
(Shaking my head back and forth) I’m just amazed that this is still going on at all. This, my friends is the reason why people are afraid to get divorced or to come out. Look at what you have to deal with, what you have to put up with. The decent, the name calling, the misrepresentation, the idea that some person has to get back at the other and do their best to destroy them as best they can.
Never – not once – have I ever asked my children to make a choice to decide which parent they want to be faithful to. THIS, (our divorce) in actuality is none of their business. It’s between their mother and me. All they have to do is love us both as we love them. That's it - is simple, clear and possible. That’s all I want and all I’m asking.
All this mess doesn’t give great hope for it ever to get better between the two of us. But I have smart kids. I have caring kids. Sooner or later – my kids will become wise and realize I love them.
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